Bongo Bongo Land

These pages have been prepared by citizens of Bongo Bongo Land. Discover here the delights of our wondrous nation.

Our Culture, Bongoland and Britain !

ray-ban sunglasses bong bongo land
Bongo Bongo Land is a country of contrast. Not only in landscape and demographics but in terms of its social and economic inequalities.
Over half of the population live below the poverty line.
Native African culture has been diluted throughout our land by outside influences. In music and fashion for example there is a mix of African, British and American styles.
This photo, in which a wealthy patrician sports a pair of patriotic, gold-framed, Ray-Ban sunglasses, exemplifies the incongruities within our society.
Incidentally, such glasses rapidly became a fashion icon in Bongoland following remarks made by a deranged British MEP in 2013.

In addition to a significant population of British, our country has over twenty different ethnic tribal groups. These tribespeople will often book an appointment with their witch doctor or "Mganga wa kienyeji" to help deal with personal problems or cure illnesses.

witch doctor wanga doll
Witch doctors and their patients believe spirits influence their lives.
Spirits can be benevolent or malevolent.
Traditionally runes are cast to foretell events.
In modern times a witch doctor's goods and services, such as wanga dolls and the casting of spells, can be bought online via paypal.
Wangers bring success, love, money and revenge.

Spells sent by email will elicit the reciprocation of love, ensure an exam is passed or precipitate a big win at bingo. The appropriate spell is selected from an online menu.
All witch doctors must purchase a certificate from the Bongan ministry of Health and Welfare to prove they are legitimate practitioners. Even so cultural misunderstandings within our population have brought about some ethnic disharmony.

bongan british health workers
Foreign exchange doctors from Britain are known to be critical of our long-established methods.
Conversely, patients in our hospitals may complain that British medical staff are hard to comprehend, go into hiding at weekends and overindulge in idle chatter instead of getting on with their work.



Walaji wa nyama za watuIt has been mentioned on this website that the indigenuous inhabitants of Bongoland are famed for their wood carving skills. This provides revenue for Bongan artisans.
Opposite is a sculpture dating back to the early 19th century.
It depicts a loving couple from the Walajiwatu tribe in erotic pose.
The Walajiwatu were at one time "Walaji wa nyama za watu" (eaters of human flesh) whose gruesome cannabalistic activities have become the stuff of legend throughout Africa.
Of course the British colonisers attempted to discourage cannibalism, though it has to be acknowledged that exaggerated lurid tales of cannibalistic rituals were spread by European and American colonisers to demonise so-called savages and justify the influx of Christian missionaries.
The plump children of those missionaries were subsequently reputed to be a favoured delicacy of the Walajiwatu. Such stories should be taken with a pinch of salt.

bongoland cannibalism
Cartoons published in the 1930s and 1940s reinforced prejudices.
These days incidents of cannibalism are rare and mostly involve revengeful eating of one's enemy.
Witch doctors may also prescribe human body parts for certain ailments.

The arrival of fundamentalist Christian missionaries with their comical ceremonies and outrageous beliefs provoked both incredulity and ridicule from native Bongans.

bongan and british worshipers
In this cartoon British colonisers find merriment in watching indigenous natives worship a popular deity representing fertility.
Followers pray for an abundant harvest, many nubile wives and healthy offspring.
This god is invariably portrayed clutching an African horned cucumber, a widely grown nutritious fruit.
Bongans, on the other hand, have found it funny that white Europeans kneel before an icon depicting crucifixion and torture and that they pray to be saved from the wrath of a vengeful god.
Of course many native Bongans have since found redemption and converted to Christianity.
Intolerance, be it religious, racial or sexual has no place in modern Bongoland nor Britain.

Times have changed and behaviour tolerated or considered acceptable not so very long ago is now labelled as being not politically correct by both Bongies and Brits.

white black golliwogs
Take for example the mzunguwog.
This doll was an innocently named toy of Bongan children for much of the 20th century.
The equivalent of the British golliwog. It is in effect a white golliwog.
In both countries these dolls have been transformed into a symbols of controversy and are regarded by some as offensive caricatures of white and black people. The older population will argue that as children it never crossed their minds that these dolls were in any way racist.

ukip mp bongo bongo land
The native Bongans will use the word "Mzungu" when referring to the English, or indeed any race of people with white skin.
Literally meaning "aimless wanderer" it refers to people who have a dizzy and lost appearance.
It was thought the perfect description of whites who first arrived in Bongoland 200 or more years ago.
It is not generally used in a derogatory sense. Bongans refer to people, unashamedly and without malice, by their skin colour.
It is noticeable that in both Bongoland and Britain there is increasing resistance to the culture of obsessive offence-taking.
Humour and ridicule can be usefully deployed against prejudiced or ill-informed individuals such as those representing certain British political parties.

On this website we will very shortly be publishing further articles concerning the culture and lifestyles of our people. As well as traditional arts and crafts we will be looking at foreign influences on the society of modern Bongo Bongo Land.... such as the following.

matusi toucan boom boom
The toucan is not a native of Africa but is loved, not only by the children of Bongoland, but worldwide.
The comical and mischievous "Matusi Toucan" is in fact a glove puppet who has become one of our country's favourite celebrities.
simpsons in bongo bongo land
Another popular import, for we are truly a nation of sophisticated taste, is a specially commissioned series of episodes of the American cartoon series "The Simpsons".
  .... click this and other images to see larger displays which will also be indexed as thumbnails along the foot of the page.

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